Dear Houla,

Is suffering a necessary aspect of life?

From,

Lovebug

Dear Lovebug,

Unfortunately, yes.

It is natural for humans, just as it is for animals, to search for a sense of comfort in our lives. As babies we cry until we’re fed. As 14-year olds we get moody when we don’t get our way. People have different ways of showing it, but the root cause is all the same. Once we’ve characterized what is comfortable to us, anything outside of these lines is a direct attack. Personally, as a young child I would have to hold back tears when my parents told me that playtime with my cousins was over, and it was time to go home. 

The problem with this is: change is an unavoidable part of life. Regardless of how you feel about it, there is another season around the corner. So with meditation practice and your personal journey to enlightenment, you (very) slowly develop a new mindset toward change. If it’s unavoidable, what is the point in avoiding it?

The elephant in the room about *change* is just how uncomfortable it can be. As babies, it’s the feeling of an empty stomach. As adults, it’s the feeling of someone closest to you no longer being there to talk to. It makes all the sense in the world why people don’t like change. Change at its worst is excruciating suffering.

What differs for the enlightened is the approach to said change, or suffering. Simply accept it for what it is. Don’t judge it, as in deeming it good or bad. Don’t fight the human emotions that come up. Just know that YOU are not your emotions. You are the observer, noticing all these things happening in front of you. If you never change your perspective on suffering, this is the path of the constantly disgruntled. The people that find problems with anything. The “Karen’s” of the world, if you will. Ask any 14-year-old: the worst person in the world to interact with is an adult stuck in their ways. They have no creativity, no understanding, no compromise.

It’s much easier said than done, but try to simply accept suffering for what it’s meant for: growth. If you’re in a period of suffering, attack everyday knowing that a period of prosperity is soon due. Everything will be fine, but only when you are fine with everything. At the end of the day, life is out of our control, so we can’t get upset when it doesn’t go how we have come to expect.

Best Wishes, 

An Upperclassmen Houla

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