I didn’t have the same primary school experience that most of my peers had. I didn’t enjoy playful recesses. I didn’t play pretend on the monkey bars or chase my friends across the school grounds . . .

Do you have trouble trying to get the attention of that special someone? Or are you unable to find the right words to break up with someone who’s not right for you? You could break up with them and find the next person the same night! But I would recommend delivering the ones you use in person. These pickup lines are sure to up your rizz, and the break up lines are sure to have them never bother you again.

Dear Houla,

Is suffering a necessary aspect of life?

From,

Lovebug

Dear Houla,

It’s my last semester at centenary and I’m creating a bucket list of things to do before I graduate. Any suggestions?

From,

Anonymous

Dear Houla,

How do I know if it’s time to switch advisors? My current advisor isn’t doing a great job of giving advice, or even getting my schedule done. However, anytime I (politely) voice a concern, I get told that that’s just “how College is.” Am I overreacting? Should I suck it up or look for someone new . . .

EB’s Ups and Downs for the first two weeks of the semester.

After months of tedious analysis, study, and divine visions revealed to editor Kari Johnson, Conglomerate predicts that the utter annihilation of the world will mark the beginning of the new millennium. At best, the paper's editorial staff feels that humankind might last until January 2 . . .

We recently held a caf deck event where readers could write down their winter wishes and pick up our latest stickers. Thank you to everyone who came out! We hope all of our winter wishes come true! Without further ado, here are the winter wishes . . .

Alright, so you’ve done it. You, the mighty writer, have finished a poem. The line breaks are just right, the imagery is descriptive and detailed, and the piece came out exactly as you imagined. As the feelings of triumph and success wash over you, you realize you missed one crucial step: your poem has no title. While many writers believe the title is the least important part, the title is what ties everything together and indicates what the piece is about to the audience. However, it can also be the most challenging part of the writing process . . .

Writing is, at times, a very difficult thing to do. Writing poetry—especially when you’re trying to emulate a specific mood, idea, or experience—can be exceptionally difficult. It is hard to find the right words, get into the right headspace, or even just begin. Well, fear not, aspiring poets; if “study vibez” playlists on Youtube and Spotify have proven anything, it’s that music can be a powerful source of both motivation and inspiration. After all, what is music if not the poetry of sound! Skeptical of my claims? Unsure where to begin? Feeling intimidated by it all? Look no further as we take the next few minutes to discuss the merits of listening to music while writing and how it might affect your poetry . . .

Congratulations on your poem! Take a moment to appreciate your hard work so far; this is vital for our next steps of self-critique. We're halfway there, and now it's time to dig into what we can do together to improve the piece. Whether this poem is going to your publisher or your school's biannual art magazine, its refinement is important. Any level of artist needs to establish effective critiquing methods; they can solidify your ideas and pull you just as much as the reader into the poem’s world . . .

Good or bad, entrepreneurship is in my blood. Long before I was born until about 2010, my Nana (my mom’s mom) ran a balloon company, Balloons to Go. Her long-term investment wisdom was impressed upon me through her typical birthday and Christmas gifts of sports memorabilia. To this day, I am the owner of a 2003 LeBron James rookie card set that seemingly will be worth even more than it is now in another 15 years. I have basketballs signed by Hall of Famers James Worthy and Dennis Rodman . . .

With fall just around the corner (we hope) I personally have been trying to get myself into the fall mindset. By this, I mean I have changed my computer background to everything green and orange, I have broken out my pants and sweatshirts from the back of the closet, and I have been exclusively ordering pumpkin spice lattes at Starbucks pretty much everyday of the week . . .

I go to movie theaters a lot. According to Megan Brenan, “U.S. adults saw an average of 1.4 movies in a theater” in the past year. This statistic is from 2021, so the numbers were probably still being influenced by the pandemic, but even before the pandemic, the average American watched only 4.8 movies per year in a movie theater. Just in 2023, I have watched sixty-six movies, and twenty of those were in a movie theater. Like I said, I go to movie theaters a lot . . .

We are all preparing to reenter the great world of academia, but with the class of 2027 being the largest incoming class at Centenary, I thought I'd share my list of five things I wish I had known as a freshman (even if it was only a year ago). While these tips would have helped me, I hope they can save you, dear reader, from some not-so fun freshman year fumbles . . .

Centenary’s campus has been home to less than 1,000 students for a good while now–extremely uncommon for the majority of colleges/universities in the United States. Although our numbers have been steadily rising over the past couple of years, the student population is drastically smaller in comparison to the 50,000+ that attend state schools. Once you, your parents, and your grandparents get over the shock of the triple-digit student population, you’ll probably find yourself thinking about the size of the campus. Less than 1,000 students? Psh, that’s nothing! Finding my way through campus should be a breeze, right? Wrong.

If one thing can be said of the Conglomerate this year, it’s that we were ambitious. During the 2022-2023 school year, the Conglomerate has done a lot. We’ve published 19 issues, celebrated our centennial by passing out physical copies, published an April fools issue, as well as expanded into the realm of podcasts and crosswords.

In honor of there being only 3 weeks until graduation, members of Centenary’s 2023 graduating class offer some advice for other students. Do with them what you will . . .